The Unforgivable Past
by Sleepy Chibi
Summary: AU where everyone is human. AmericaxReaderxEngland What led Arthur to becoming an uncaring person, you into depression, and Alfred to regret? I can't say more without ruining the plot, so read.


_**Warning**__**: Contains ideological sensitive materials, violence and gore, and mild swearing near the end. You've been warned.**_

_**(A/N: I just want bring the awareness that SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER. It never is. If you're feeling down or just want to talk, feel free to pm me. I'll listen, but I might be able to reply right away. Okay, feel free to read on.)**_

In my cold, dark, neglected bedroom, I watched the crimson bead as it slowly made it's way down my fingertip. It left a trail behind, so more beads could follow it's trail.

_drip...drip..._

A dull pulse of pain pulsed from my wrist, signaling that I was alive. I took the silver knife and dragged it across wrist to make the cut deeper. Now, more of the liquid could flow free. The pain renewed itself and pulse quicker. I never felt so alive.

_drip... drip...drip..._

Holding my wrist up to my face, I stared at the beautiful ruby liquid. They remind me of the ruby ring that I was promised. Hypnotized by the simple beauty of my flowing blood, I stare on trying to forget my past. I don't want to remember. I want to forget everything and restart my life.

-flash-

_"(Name), this ring looks beautiful on you. It goes well with your eyes," said Arthur.I felt my face flush at my fiance's compliment._

The pretty gem stone is the symbol of lies and my fate. I was fated to never be happy, I don't have the right to. The pain, the physical evidence that I exsist, dulled and became a steady pulse again. The enchanting liquid around my cut began to solidify.

_drip...drip..._

I am sick of being ridiculed and trying. I am simply sick of life itself. Maybe the plunge of the silverware in my heart would ease my suffering, or maybe it would add on to my misery and burden. Who knows? Who cares?

**No one.**

-flash-

_"No one in their right bloody mind would care for such a plain girl," Arthur smirked. "Now scram! You're wasting my time."He walked off with some other curvy girl in town, leaving me in the rain._

The flashback ended as quickly as it came. I curled up, banging my head against the wall. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get a concussion and forget all of this. Maybe... maybe I'll fall into a coma and never wake up.

Looking up, I saw myself in the mirror. Bloodshot (eye colour) orbs look back at me. Matted (hair colour) hair hung neglected, covering most of my pale skin. Arthur's right, I look hideous. I am a hideous monster that no one would love. I don't deserve to live.

**I was a desperate, needy fool who deserves no pity.**

-flash-

_"What do you mean a baby? Go get an abortion, you cannot be possibly pregnant. You'll ruin my career!" Arthur's hand connected to my chest. The next thing I knew, I was at the bottom of the stairs and my precious child was dead._

The throbbing on my wrist ceased completely, leaving me isolated from this world, I shut my eyes tightly, wishing from the bottom of my heart that I could forget everything. I wanted a way out of my suffering and there's only one way.

**Death.**

I am certain that my death would bring happiness to this world and lessen its burden. Yes, no one would miss me. I have no reason to live.

-flash-

_"You're completely worthless, a waste of space."_

_"Ew, what the fuck is that slut doing here?"_

_"Yuck, stay away from me, bitch."_

Grabbing the knife on the floor, I swung it up high in the air and stopped.

Do I really want to die? Do people would really care for a bland girl like me?

**Nope, they won't.**

I brought the knife down towards my target.

Pain exploded in my chest as the sharp blade made it's way between my ribs and into my heart. I doubled over before collapsing onto the floor and laid there waiting for sweet relief.

_Click._

Someone's in my house. Probably a burglar, I hope they get what they want from me. After all, I'm dying and all these things would be going to waste.

"(Name)!"

I looked up to find a familiar silhouette with familiar bright baby blue eyes that shone in the darkness. Is it? Is it...

"A-alfred?"

Why is he here? To mock me? Why can't I die in peace?

Alfred cradled me, not caring that my blood stained his jacket or dirtying his hands. Why? I'm so confused.

"Dude, why? Why do you this to yourself? Hold on, let me call the ambulance, it's not to-"

"Shut up. I don't want to l-" I didn't get finish because metallic liquid invaded my throat. I coughed to rid myself of it.

"(Name)! As a hero, I cannot let you die on me! I-... I like you a lot!"

My (eye colour) eyes widen in shock. He, he likes me? Someone likes me...

"S-some-one l-likes me..."

I weakly laughed. His warm hand squeezed mine as if to comfort me. My vision began to dull as I cough some more. Alfred's outlines were getting fuzzier by the second.

-flash-

_"I'll be your hero (Name)! I'll always rescue you!"_

_"PILLOW FIGHT! C'mon, grab a pillow before there's no more!"_

_"I love you too! So don't cry (Name), we're besties forever."_

**Why? Why couldn't I remember all this earlier?**

I felt warm drops of water drop onto my cheek. It took me a while to realize that Alfred was crying.

"D-don't c-cry Al-..."

My vision blurred up even more as tears flowed down from my eyes. Our salty tears mingled together as if to promise that we would be one. I realized something.

**_I don't want to die._**

I want to live a bit longer and be with Alfred. If I hesitated a bit longer. If I wasn't so stupid. If...

"(NAME)! BABE! DON'T FALL ASLEEP! PLEA-..."

_**If I wasn't such blind fool...**_


End file.
